


The Unwanted and Somewhat Obvious Truth

by fesbian_leminist



Series: Let's Make Gilmore Girls Gay [2]
Category: Gilmore Girls
Genre: F/F, Internalized Homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:00:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27236158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fesbian_leminist/pseuds/fesbian_leminist
Summary: It is normal to think that your friend is beautiful and kind and funny and to get nervous when they're close to you and it doesn't mean anything when you think about touching them or kissing them because all of that is very, very normal and doesn't mean anything at all.
Relationships: Paris Geller/Rory Gilmore
Series: Let's Make Gilmore Girls Gay [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1985360
Comments: 10
Kudos: 54





	The Unwanted and Somewhat Obvious Truth

**Author's Note:**

> The episode where Paris immediately volunteers to be the romeo to Rory's Juliet is gay as hell and it is an attack against me personally that the show somehow did not realise this.

It had really just been the sensible decision. Tristan was gone, they needed a Romeo, and Paris knew all the lines. She knew everyone’s lines. There was no better choice than her for a last minute Romeo. The fact that Rory was Juliet and she'd be kissing her on stage in front of Chilton and also Rory's boyfriend was something she'd barely thought about. She'd really tried very hard to deliberately not think about it, in fact.

Rory hadn't made it easy, of course. When had she ever made anything easy? Grinning at her when she showed up in Tristan's costume and making jokes and teasing her and being pretty and distracting and… Well, none of that mattered. They'd gotten through it. Paris had kissed her and made it quick and hadn't thought about how soft her lips were and then she died and the lights dimmed and everyone clapped. They'd done it. For once, Tristan hadn't ruined things for her. She was just starting to rush away when she felt a tug at her sleeve and a giggle behind her.

“What's the rush? Don't you want to celebrate the excellent show we just put on? Or, you know, our first kiss? In front of so many people too. Didn't take you for such a show-off.” Paris felt her face start to burn as she grabbed Rory's hand and pulled her to the back of the stage, making sure no-one else was close enough to hear what they were saying or how much Rory was laughing at her. “Seriously, you were great. We all were. So why are you in such a hurry to get away?”

“I… I just want to get out of these clothes. This wig. I look ridiculous.” She finally let her gaze come back to Rory, confident that no one else was going to interrupt them. Might have been a mistake. Rory might have looked ridiculous too but she was still pretty. Paris had been trying not to think about just how pretty Rory was since she'd helped her practice kissing. It'd been easier when she had school work to concentrate on. A bit harder when she was backstage with her in the dark. When she'd just kissed her, no matter how quickly it had ended. “You're probably right, though. I'll get changed and celebrate. I was very good, after all.”

“That's a shame. I mean, the wig isn't great, but if you get rid of that...” Rory trailed off and Paris watched her step closer, saw hands lifting up to her face. She froze, mouth drying up, eyes almost closing as they brushed against her before they lifted the wig from her head. “Well, I think you look pretty handsome, if you don't mind me saying so.” Paris opened and closed her mouth a few times before looking at the floor, cheeks flushing as she started grinning despite herself.

“I… Thanks. Haven't ever thought of myself as handsome really but… thanks.” Rory hadn't moved back after taking off her wig. She was close. Really close. Close enough for Paris to just reach out and just… touch her. “You were really good too. And you're… You're really pretty.” She rushed the words out, barely getting above a whisper as she kept staring at the ground. Her hand was hovering between her and Rory. She couldn't touch her but she couldn't bring it back either. She should leave. She should run before Rory sees and freaks out and hates her and never talks to her again and-

“Thanks. For, you know, the compliment. And, uh, the compliment.” Paris kept staring down, gulping and nodding as she heard Rory speak and watched her hand slowly move forward. It was hard to concentrate on her voice. Hard to concentrate on anything but Rory's fingers brushing past hers and wrapping round them, on the heat rushing through her body. “So, are you just going to keep staring at the ground forever or are you actually going to look at me? After all, word on the street says that I'm pretty.”

“I… Sorry.” Paris took a deep breath, trying not to panic as she slowly lifted her gaze. She started squeezing as she looked at her face again, as she realised just how close she was. She could feel breath on her face. Could see a few hairs falling down past her eyes. She wanted to brush them away, wanted to touch Rory's face and hold her hand and lean in and kiss-”I don't know what to do.” This was too much. She wanted to run. She never wanted to leave.

“Well, if you don't want to go celebrate with everyone else, you could just celebrate with me.” Rory looked away for a moment and Paris' heart almost burst out of her chest as she saw a bit of a blush on her cheeks, as she felt a thumb rubbing the back of her hand. She leaned in slowly, meeting Rory's eyes as she looked back to her, closing her own just before their lips touched and-

“Rory!” She heard Dean's voice and jerked away, panic rising up inside her. This was wrong. This was so wrong. Rory was going to hate her. Everyone was.

“I'm sorry. You should go find Dean.” She started walking away when she felt her hand being squeezed tight, when she realised Rory hadn't let go. She turned back, about to shout at her when she saw Rory still staring at her, cheeks bright red as she kept rubbing her thumb across the back of her hand.

“I'll see you on Monday," Rory whsipered, still blushing as she let go and headed for the other side of the stage. Paris watched after her, waiting till she was out of sight before turning and running out the back. She needed to find a toilet. Needed to hide.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid!” She was almost shouting at herself as she slammed the stall door behind her, sliding down to the floor and trying not to sob. She'd almost kissed her. She'd been so close to her, so close to ruining everything with the closest thing to a friend she had. How could she have been so stupid? Rory didn't want that. Rory wasn't like that. Rory had Dean.

“I'm not like that.” She sniffed, wiping away tears from her eyes as she stared up at the ceiling. She wasn't. She wasn't like that. Rory was just nice to her. No one else was. She just liked her. That was all. Nothing else. She closed her eyes, thought about Rory running out to Dean and acting like nothing had happened and kissing him, feeling a knife twisting in her stomach. She wanted to be out there with Rory. Wanted to be the one celebrating with her, holding her, kissing her, dating her-

She opened her eyes, staring down at her feet again. She was jealous. She'd known she was jealous but she'd thought she was jealous of Rory. Of how pretty she was, how kind and funny and smart. That she had Dean. That she'd kissed Tristan. It was Dean, though. He had something she never could. She felt her stomach drop as her head fell down between her knees and she started to cry again.

She'd always figured she was a freak. Didn't seem fair that she had to be quite so right about that.

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like if there is a character in Gilmore Girls who would react badly to realising that they were queer it would be Paris. Plus Lane who is also obviously gay. So, uh. Sorry I guess.


End file.
